First Joke

A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbour owes me $500 and he
doesn't want to pay up.What should I do?" "Do you have any proof?", asked
the lawyer.
"Nope," replied the man. "Okay, then write him aletter asking him for the
$1,000 he owes you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500!" replied the man.
"Precisely, that's what he will reply and we will have the proof we need,"
said the lawyer.

Second Joke

The professor of a Contract Law class asked one of his better students, "If
you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?" The student
replied, "Here's an orange." The professor was outraged."No! No! Think like
a lawyer!" The student then replied, "Ok.I will tell him - "I hereby give
and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim,
title and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind,
juice, pulp and seeds,and all rights and advantages with full power to bite,
cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and
without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before and
hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind
whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding.

Third Joke

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the
counter.Fortunately, the butcher recognised the dog as belonging to a
neighbour of his. The neighbour happened to be a lawyer. Incensed at the
theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said, "Hey, if your dog stole
a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?"
The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?" "$7.98." A few days
later the butcher received a cheque in the mail for for $7.98. Attached to
it was an invoice that read : 'LegalConsultation Service: $150.

Fourth Joke

The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, so he went to
law school. He graduated with Honours, and then went home to join his
father's legal firm. At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his
father's office, and said, "Father, you know what, in one day I managed to
solve the accident case that you've been working on for 10 years!" His
father responded : " You idiot, we lived on the funding of that case for 10
years